heavy

i've been thinking a lot about this whole parenting thing
it's a big ol responsibility raising these babies!
am i feeding them enough of the good stuff?
are we reading enough?
are we reading the right books?
am i too tough?
not tough enough?
the list could go on for days.....i could drown in my parenting fears if i let myself

here is what i do know...
i know i mess up
i know i lose my patience
i know i cave and let henry have a turkey wrap (and nothing else) for lunch far too often
i know i am a helicopter mom at the playground
i know i slip and say bad words in front of the boys
i know i come up short a lot of days

but you know what else i know?
i know i love them so much
(to the moon and back in fact)
that crazy stupid kind of love
that kind of love that changes you
before the boys i was me
and after the boys i am still me
but a different me

i know i try
i try so hard to be the best version of myself for them
the truest and most honest version
i know when they go to bed at night i have told them how much i love them
i have kissed their faces and breathed their breath
they are a part of me
and me of them
and i know they know that

(photos by hrw photography)