Thursday, April 9, 2009

damn that DIY Network!

I love my husband.

However, if he doesn't stop watching that damn DIY Network I might have to resort to drastic measures! He keeps coming up with crazy "quick fix" things to do to our humble home. I have had to veto a few......

Example: We have an entire wall in our basement covered with shelves (holding random odds and ends that we have no room for upstairs and only use every once in awhile). Stone hates the shelves, I don't mind them. He came up to me one day and said he was going to take down the shelves using the circular saw his parents got him for his b-day. I said "absolutely not, you will most certainly cut your hand off in the process." Case closed. The shelves are still up.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a DIY project....if it is done well.

The latest "episode" (not tv episode, Stone episode) was Stone purchasing sod for a few spots in our front and back yards that are less than pretty.

When it rains our backyard turns into a small lake. It honestly wouldn't shock me if I saw a squirrel in a teeny tiny boat paddling across the yard after a storm. (the squirrels in our backyard are scary smart) Add to that the fact that The Bitch's toilet facility is our backyard, it makes for a killer combo....literally

Yesterday I get a phone call from Stone informing me he would be purchasing/laying sod that afternoon. I got kind of excited. I've seen a gorgeous sod covered lawn and I was looking forward to our yard being the same way.

Man oh man I was wrong.

I get home, walk to the back door, glance at the yard and am horrified at what I see. A yellow and brown slimy mess covering a large chunk of our backyard. Now I'm no horticulturist but I know what sod looks like, plush, green....makes you want to walk barefoot over it, and what was in our yard was NOT that.

C: "What the hell man?"

S: "I know I know. I got it half off though." (he throws this in because he knows I love a bargain)

C: "UMMMMM.....So what your telling me is the landscaper gave you a deal on dead grass?"

S: "It's not all dead, just some parts."

C: "It looks pretty much all dead to me and correct me if I'm wrong but sod shouldn't smell like that."

S: "Like what? It's not supposed to smell good."

C: "It's supposed to smell like dirt not rotting vegetables!"

S: "Yeah, I did notice something funky. I'm gonna give it a couple more days though."

C: "To die all the way????"

S: (smirk) "Pretty much."

C: "FYI, you can no longer say anything about my frivolous purchases. I think buying dead grass pretty much takes the cake."

S: "Touche"

I would share a photo, but it is so bad I'm embarrassed.

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