Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Other than cicadas and loud noises (like really loud noises...sudden burglar alarms or the screech before a car accident for example) I am TERRIFIED of home invasion. I'm sure it stems from watching some sort of Dateline special or 20/20 episode but I definitely feel the people who break into a house because you are home are the real sickos you need to be afraid of.

For this reason I A) always have the screen door locked if the actual door is open on a warm day. B) never sleep closest to the bedroom door (yes that is correct, I make it so "they" have to go through Stone before they get to me.) and 3) repeatedly ask Stone if he has locked all of the doors at night when we go to bed. (we have 3 in our house that lead outdoors)

Last night I heard a noise that I can only describe as similar to the noise the "aliens" from War of the Worlds (with our favorite crazy Tom Cruise) made. Kind of like a WHHHAAAUUMMMP! WHHHHAAAUUUMMMP! I heard it once but thought nothing of it. Then The Bitch jumped up and let a low rumble out. Note: The Bitch growls at everything so I know in the middle of the night if she doesn't growl at a noise...I (we) am safe. Obviously I did what any normal wife would do, I shoved Stone awake and whispered for him to "listen....sssshhhh. listen!"

Oh Stone, good ol Stone. "WHAT!?!?! WHAT!?!?!" he screams as he removes the little ear plugs he sleeps with in his ears. Oh that's just great! Way to blow our cover. Not only do those silly earplugs make it so Stone doesn't wake up when there is a bump in the night so he can properly protect me, but now he has alerted the home invaders (clearly coming to get us) that we are aware of their "invasion"!

So much for counting on the ol ball-n-chain when things get dodgy!

(PS: That's right. Stone wears earplugs to bed because in fact he is a SUPER light sleeper. The slightest noise will wake him up. Seriously, he could hear water tink tink tinking on a pipe in our basement in the middle of the night. Perhaps Stone is some sort of mutant with bionic hearing??? Must remember to address this at a later date)

(PPS: turns out the noise I heard was some sort of electrical box blowing down the street not the home invaders I had feared)

(PPPS: yes, I know I watch to many scary movies/disturbing news stories. I'm putting them on my "list of things to cut back on to save my sanity")


Saskia said...

I get irrationally scared when I'm alone in the house, but never when Mr B is home with me.
Why are noises so much louder in the dark? They are though aren't they!!

Have a great day xx

mo.stoneskin said...

It wasn't an electrical box, that's just a rumour I started. It was me bouncing about on one of those hopper-bouncy-ball things. Sorry about that, I had no idea I was so noisy.

nokomis said...

I really can't watch scary movies anymore. I just can't do it. Or... I could be then I wouldn't be able to sleep for 2 months and I heard that kills people in itself.